The worst disease anyone can have

I once again take this opportunity that God as defined by me has given me what I need in life so far.....but the biggest problem that I have and now for a long time is my self confidence. The self inside me degrades me every fucking moment and I feel that I am worthless compared to all others around me.....sometimes I feel that I do not have it in me even to do a worthless job like moving a stone from one place to another. The irony is I am hurting myself and since my work life has started this is a real serious issue that I need to sort out. I also have fear.....fear and shyness and every day in office is like sitting on nails............everyone around me is known but I don't know why. I am even afraid of speaking in my office phone.....asking my advisor for help.........Its really getting to my nerves. I always fucking self-pity myself........As far as I am concerned this is the worst problem one can have because none except me can help. Everyone around me looks big. I feel like only my body has grown but failed to mature. psychologically it is so frustrating.....Sometimes I feel that I have had enough of life.......Hope I can find myself soon....fingers crossed